Not again

Well, I can’t sleep. Since recieving the disclosure, the events of that night keep playing through my mind over and over. My inner voice trying to pull up the memories that are hiding in the darkest, depths of my mind. I’m sitting here stating at my white blanket thinking, “remember, just remember. Why can’t you just remember.” If I could remember what happened things would be so much easier. I wouldn’t be reliving that night over and over, driving myself crazy and unable to sleep. I would know.

I’m right back where I started. I thought I was starting to heal and I feel helpless again. I want to cry and keep crying. I want to curl up and hide myself away in the darkest corner of my closet. I want to run away but I know that I can’t. I must push forward and keep fighting because I’m not just fighting for myself. I’m fighting for anyone who’s been in my position and anyone who end up in it. So, let the healing process begin again.